Confessions of a 2 Day Middle Schooler

So yesterday and today I had the honor of being a 7th grader. 

Anni Hilderbrant is my Oma's neighbor here in Dreetz, Germany. When she found out I've never been to school she talked to a few teachers an got them to allow me to join in for 2 days.

My conclusion would be:

1) I suddenly sympathize with public schoolers because the wake up time to get to school is brutal.

2) Probably because I have never been made to go to school everyday, I felt like there was a lot of breaks and waiting around. Like damn y'all here to learn let's do that already.

3) 7th grade was like 6 years ago for me but I still could rock the curriculum.

4) I am pretty sure they feed some children steroids because damn some were big.

5) At least 5 of the teachers didn't realize I was American, because I've apparently learned to hide my accent. That really doesn't have anything to do with school, I'm just proud that I've got the Berliner dialect down.

6) Gym was deffiently the most fun out of the entire 2 days and I dont know why so many kids complain about it....

7) French was not so fun. French sucked.

8) No one had lockers (because you have to pay for them) which I thought was weird until I was informed by an American friend that apparently American schools don't have lockers either anymore.

9) Tv is full of lies. Lockers in the schools my ass.

And

10) Besides the lack of sports and social life.... Thank God I was homeschooled. I complain at waking up at 8:30... 

DIY Coffee Sugar Cellulite Bars

So summer is here... And yet again cellulite anxiety starts to kick in. And while it's obvious that the main tools to use in anyone's anti-cellulite/awesome body/badass figure fight are healthy nutrition, plenty of water and exercising, I thought it might be a good tip to share this homemadecoffee anti-cellulite serum and sugar coffee scrubs... Credit for the tip (because I did just find it) does go to Maria Sself 💖

1. Yummy Coffee Sugar Scrubbing:

I really like the idea of having scrubs in bars like that for two reasons

• First of all, your sugar and coffee doesn't fall down the moment you apply them on your skin and you can easily scrub the bar all over your thighs. 

• Secondly, when we make regular non-bar scrubs we have to put a lot of oil to hold ingredients together and that oil then ends up in the bath tub making the tub slippery and really hazardous! (although these bar scrubs also make the tub a bit slippery - yet much less)

So, scrub bars are DEFINITELY the way to go, especially since they are super easy to make.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup Ground Coffee - unflavored! - coffee stimulates the blood to circulate more to the area where you apply it, helps pull out toxins and fatty deposits. 
  
• 1 cup Sugar - Pure Cane Sugar is good, since it's neither too coarse nor too fine - great to stimulate the skin.
• 4 tbsp Ground Cinnamon - improves blood circulation, accelerates cell metabolism - and it makes the scrubs smell pretty yummy as well
• 2 tbsp Baking Soda - perfect for exfoliation 
• 2 tbsp Corn Starch
• 2 tbsp Cocoa Butter - great moisturizer plus it adds a chocolate scent to the scrubs

WHAT TO DO:
Mix together all the dry ingredients (coffee, sugar, cinnamon, baking soda and corn starch). Then put cocoa butter in a small pan. Take a frying pan, pour some water in it, put it on the stove on medium heat and then place your pan with butter into the frying pan so that it melts and becomes liquid. Once it’s melted, mix it very well with the dry ingredients.Then take a spray bottle, pour just a little bit of water and spritz your mixture to make it slightly damp. Then put into your molds - A helpful tip is to use cupcake molds (You can also put a few coffee beans at the bottom, and if you decide to use coffee beans also, please don't forget to use a drain hair stopper in the tub). To prevent them from sticking to the molds, rub some cocoa butter cream left overs from the pan onto the surface of the molds - definitely helps.


Then leave the scrubs to dry in the molds overnight. After popping them out of the molds, let them sit for a few more hours with their coffee bean bottom up to let it dry completely. Then store the scrubs in a sealable container/glass jar. Though I am guessing zip lock bags work as well.

Grandparent Edition

I'm pretty sure national Grandparents day has already past, but I've never been one for following tradition/rules, so here is my own national Grandparents day.

A whole throw back vibe going on

Sexy then... Sexy now 💃

We had to take multiple shots... I was laughing so hard

Poor, poor starved Opa

Zodiac as Hell

So I love zodiac things... And here are just a few funny ones 

U Mad Bro?

So everyone knows the stupid saying that was big for all the swaglets (young people who say "swag" unironically)

"U Mad Bro?"

But in this situation.... I'm kinda wondering the same thing.

When I got to the bahn (train station) the one and only ticket dispenser had a uh... Small accident. I'm not really sure about the story behind this but it was a pain in the butt to type anything.

Guess the Hulk didn't have enough money for his ticket?

Dog Edition

Merry Halloween 

Dog Edition:

Just Laugh

So.... Not much has been happening here lately... Here are some funny pics instead. Merry early Christmas. 

Cat Edition